i literally dont know why its still raining.
i dont know how it can still be raining.
some days it swallows me whole-not in a good way.
other days i let it swallow me whole in a good way.

i feel like the universe is mourning something.
something i might never understand.

i say to the universe,
“let your heart completely break
and bleed it out.
let the pain permeate, grieve it.
you don’t have to feel this anymore.
youve given all of yourself
for so so long.
you arent who you were before.”

i think i caught a glimpse of something
but im not really sure.

no matter how i feel
or how the day or the rain feels
or how the universe is feeling
it is always always always good
when the rain beats down
on my skylights at night.

“let me in! let me in!
its me and im still here!
close your eyes and listen to me
dont forget who you are to me, my dear”

im 33 and im still a baby.
soon i will be 34.
no more no more no more no more