i went ahead and made the splurge, i bought 12 yards of expensive upholstery fabric that i had spent weeks carefully choosing. it was the most i had ever spent on fabric, but i finally decided it was worth it. i had just opened the box and unrolled a few yards over my wicker furniture to get an idea of how it would look when my cushions were finished when gertie-my dog-came up to the sliding door asking to come in, so i let her in. she ran like a lunatic around the room rolling around on the rug which is typical of her, except this time she jumped up onto the cushions and rolled around on the brand new fabric i had laid out. i giggled a little at the irony and told her to get down and stop messing up my new fabric and started to roll it back up until i noticed she had rolled in POOP and had smudged POOP ALL OVER MY NEW FABRIC.
ANGRY i commanded her to the bathroom and straight into the tub, with my stern voice telling her how unladylike she had been and how unacceptable this was. telling her what a mess she had made, and how now i needed to clean it all up. trembling she went into the tub and looked up at me with her shame-filled eyes as i filled the tub and doused her body in lavender hand soap (it was all i had on hand). i roughly scrubbed her down with my hands, muttering to myself, until i noticed her terrified, humiliated face and her shaking body, and i was overcome with sadness.
i stopped and took her soapy face in my hands and looked into her eyes. i reminded her that she was mine. that i had chosen her. i said “you are my girl. you are mine. i chose you, i picked you out of all the other puppies, i found you in illinois and i watched you grow in pictures and i paid for you and paid to have you flown here on an airplane. you are my girl and you will always be my girl. i chose you out of all of them and i love you.” i continued, a bit more lovingly, to clean her body of the filthy mess she had made and to make her shiny new.
i found myself sobbing as i realized how God does this for us, over and over. how we make messes and roll around in our own filth, messing up all his plans for us or messing up our own lives. and how God reminds us (skipping over the stern voice and the muttering part) of how he chose us, and loves us, how He went through great lengths to be close to us. and then he cleans us all up over and over again and makes us shiny new. and i know that He will continue to do that, over and over and over again.
